He He He A Little Alcohol Related Humor


	AFRAID NOT Three pieces of string are standing outside a bar. There is a sign that says "No strings served." The first string says, "Well, I'll get served, watch." So he walks into the bar. He saunters up to the bar and says,"I'll have a beer please." The bartender says,"We don't serve strings here. Get out!" So the second string says, "Well, I'll get served watch." So he walks into the bar. He strolls up to he bar and says, "I'll have a beer please." The bartender says, "We don't serve strings here. Get out!" Finally the third string says, "I'll get served." He messes up his hair, twists himself around and goes Into the bar. He strolls up to the bar and says, "I'll have a beer, please." The bartender says, "Say, aren't you a string?" He replies, "Nope. I'm a frayed knot."


	HOW ABOUT A LITTLE HEAD? A head rolls into a bar. It says to the guy sitting at the bar, "Hey bud, can you put me up on the bar?" So the guy picks the head up and puts it on the bar. The head says to the bartender, "Gimme a beer with a straw in it!" So the bartender gives the head the drink and the head drinks it down. Suddenly he grows two arms. The head says, "Wow! This beer works magic, gimme another!" So the bartender gives him another drink, he drinks it down and grows two legs, and he says "Holy cow! now I have a full body!! Gimme another!" The bartender complies, he drinks it, and explodes! The moral of the story is quit while you are ahead.


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	A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk's buddy, Pete, and his girlfriend going at it in the back-seat. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside. He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend. The drunk staggered outside to the car, saw Pete and his girlfriend entwined, then walked back into the bar laughing. "What's so funny?" the bartender asked. "That damned Pete!" the drunk chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!"